Lady Captain’s Blog: Pre-Christmas Mutterings!

Festive Season Star Signs

I’m not a ‘Star Sign’ person, but I couldn’t resist a peak today for some reason: Pisces – “With Mercury in retrograde this week” In reverse hey, so, does that mean I’m getting younger? Maybe the wrinkle cream’s working! “Something controversial is in the air.” Now maybe that’s Brexit? Or some Boris Johnson hot air?? “Everywhere you turn people are whispering, debating and arguing.” That’s definitely Brexit!

“You’re being pulled this way and that.” That’s either Black Friday action running on, or some early pre-Christmas sale activity. Or it could be Strictly – yep, I prefer the third option! “Let them talk.” Sure, no problem – happy with that! I’d never make a star in the debating society!! “Although you might not have everything you wish for” Darn it, does that mean Santa’s lost my list already?? I’ve sent it twice, once registered delivery too. Hang on, I’ll ping it again. Where did I put it…. somewhere safe….. rats.

I came across a list of Festive Horoscopes – check out yours on the list on the noticeboard. Apparently I’m (Pisces) a Snow Globe. Well, I’d actually always suspected that. A snow globe. Yep. “With a penchant for the mysterious.” Maybe that’s the “Wild Child” in me – never knowing where the ball will end up next! “Snow Globes don’t mind getting shaken up once in a while.” That must be something to do with Strictly – one of those fancy prancy lifts! And finally, I should “Expect my holiday season to be interspersed with unexpected moments of craziness.” Oh bananas, what on earth is Santa planning……………??!!
“What about the other star signs?” I hear you cry! Oh, go on then….

Aries is The Reindeer. Ever impulsive, first to rush into things headlong. Endless energy (that could be me) – like braving all kinds of weather pulling Santa’s sledge. (Not a chance – changed my mind.)

Taurus is The Polar Bear. Stubborn (so obviously I’m not Taurus). Deliberate, set in its ways, meticulous to a fault. Christmas gifts need to be to their exact specifications, so no pressure Santa!

Gemini is The Mistletoe. Most sociable, flirtatious and witty. Easily distracted and not great with details. Life and soul of the party! (Err, no, perhaps not me.)

Cancer is The Holly. Symbol of resilience and protection. Loves being surrounded by family; small, intimate gatherings rather than splashy stuff. I presume that isn’t swimming pools though if you’re on holiday…. I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, likes cozy comfort at Chrimbo. Yep, me too.

Leo is, wait for it, The Christmas Tree! Loves to be the centre of attention. (Me too.) Bold, showy and glamorous (Me too). Lights up a room wherever she goes. (Me to a tee.) Who writes this stuff??

Virgo is The Angel. This must be me. (No comments please.) Gentle and demure. (Yep.) Grace and willingness to help. (Yep, certainly the ‘grace’ bit.) Expect a busy holiday flying around making everything perfect. (Maybe not me then.)

Libra is The Wreath. (Attached to a front door…?) Beauty and balance. (This could be me.) Hates to have anything unbalanced. (Hmmm…??) Peacemaker at holiday gatherings; most dazzlingly decorated house on the block. (Not me then.)

Scorpio is The Candle. (Burning at both ends?) Introspective and contemplative. (Which I can just about say if I take it really slowly!) Candles are apparently an emotional lot. (Hardly surprizing when you set fire to them! I mean, who’s daft here!?) Radiates stillness with their own inner light. Ahhhh!! That’s deep.

Sagittarius is The Gingerbread Man. (Somebody bites his head off….?) Closest thing to a human on the zodiac. (Gingerbread men are human. I think I’ve had too much sun…) A social butterfly. (Me again.) Gets along great with Mistletoe at parties. (Must have been something funny in my tea – Gingerbread Man smooching Mistletoe. Wake me up please!) Known for their style, best dressed. (Help…!!!)

Capricorn is The Yule Goat. (What the bananas is a “Yule Goat”?) A little straw ornament – Scandinavian apparently. Proud, values success. The festive season is the ultimate reward for a Yule Goat. (I really have no idea what to say to that!)

Aquarius – last one – is The Hot Cocoa Mug. Loves to hang out with Mistletoe and Gingerbread Man. (Could be sticky this – there’ll be no more Gingerbread Man if there’s any dunking.) These guys together are the ultimate Holiday Party Hit Squad, drinks always flowing. Expect a raucous holiday season with these guys – and a groggy Christmas. (I need a lie down!)

Christmas Comp (Or Not!)

Well, the weather wasn’t terribly enticing this morning, so we didn’t venture onto the course, which was a shame as the greenstaff had managed to finish their drainage work on 7th and 8th ahead of our shotgun start.

However, over 20 ladies made it to the Club to enjoy mulled wine and pasties. Kay led the ladies in festive garb, sporting a ‘Santa’ dress, no less. Dorothy made her way up the stairs, with Frank at hand to provide support as needed. I think Frank’s days as ‘Chief Nurse’ may be numbered though. (Frank didn’t look too devastated about that!)

As the mulled wine was warming, and just before the pasties emerged, a couple of the girls decided to do some furniture moving. It started as a small task to do a minor shuffle: we wouldn’t all fit round the big table in the dining room, so a few ladies were sat at an adjacent table. There were a few different opinions as to what should go where (no surprize there). Then Karen Buckels got involved. “No.” she said, “I’m not having anyone sat with their backs to anyone else.” This could be tricky, I thought, as more furniture movement occurred. It must have sounded as though we were rebuilding the top floor to anyone downstairs! Tables shuffled, then chairs followed. You were in a spot of bother if you were in the way, I can tell you!

Eventually the removers settled on a square arrangement with a hole in the middle – a bit like a modernist polo mint. Could be worth a fortune in an art gallery! Rumour has it the middle was intended for me – with me on a swivel chair no doubt, getting quickly dizzy trying to keep up with all the conversations around!!

Finally, activities settled and the festive nibbles began. Thanks to everyone who was able to make it. Next event is “Prosecco and Pasties” in a couple of days – anyone would think it was Christmas!!

Prosecco and Pasties (Christmas Eve)

Inviting members to a ‘Prosecco and Pastie’ gathering on Christmas Eve was just one of those spur of the moment ideas you hope won’t bite you on the bum. Christmas Eve falling on a Sunday made the event worth a try and, you never know, we might manage something like it again in the future. I hope so.

Having established that a reasonable number of ladies could make it, I extended the invitation to all Club members; then crossed everything after ordering a stack of pasties!

Luckily, we had about 60 joining in the merriment, with a few informal attendees in the Members’ Bar too, which was great. The idea was very much about getting a few people together, hopefully with people meeting a few others they didn’t know before. We’re great at being ‘Men’ and ‘Ladies’ separately, but we’re perhaps not always as good at getting to know each other across those borders.

Hopefully a few perhaps unfamiliar faces have now been attached to names, and vice-versa.

Vice Captain Keith Walmsley kindly said a few words in Captain’s absence, and we also had Vice Captain-Elect Terry Adair present too, so there was an opportunity to meet a couple of future Captains.

Frank Merry caused a moment of hilarity, asking me if I liked the picture Dorothy had given me for Christmas. The only slight snag was that I was awaiting Santa’s arrival, and hadn’t opened the gift by then! I have to say, now I’ve opened the parcel, the picture is a real beaut, and will find pride of place in the Grant residence. Thanks Dorothy!!

Stewart found a new skill as bartender, though it did take him a while to master the opening of a bottle of Prosecco. Not a task I’ve ever had trouble with – I guess you’re kind of born with that kind of skill, or maybe it’s just practice….!!

Just two girls had braved the course today – Gillian Smith and Pauline Pilkington earned their refreshments by being the only ones to play. It was always going to be tricky, with many ladies tied up in preparations for ‘The Big Day’ tomorrow, so thanks to everyone who was able to find a spare half hour to pop along.

I must just mention our Christmas tree – the one ‘Chez Grant’ that is. It’s a cute little thing, christened ‘Douglas’ by my good self. Well, you have to, don’t you? No?? Oh well…. Anyway, the highly expensive Christmas lights I’d purchased about 20 years ago (£3.00 in the sale) looked to be struggling a bit, with the original four-colour spread now reduced to just the orange ones doing their little dance. So it was time to try my contingency set – and boy were they lively!

As you do, we draped the new lights around the tree using great artistry. Took about a minute. Then, on went the switch and the lights were launched. And boy were they launched! The initial, quite gentle, rhythm suddenly turned into a mad discotheque, lights strobing madly as though tuning into a bit of Black Sabbath!

Both hubby and I jumped back in our seats at the outlandish change in atmosphere, me grabbing madly for my festive sunglasses. (Pointy Christmas tree ones – doesn’t everyone have those?)

I was a little concerned we’d get arrested for distracting passing traffic and when next door’s dogs started barking madly I thought “Crikey, they can even see them through the wall!!” Luckily, a little tiddly instruction book was our savior, and the discovery that the lights had no less than eight settings. I think we’re back on something like number two setting now. A bit calmer, danger to traffic averted and the dogs are quiet – phew!! Happy Christmas!!